Saturday, February 28, 2009


So I was just reading my old blog using the Wayback Machine on This brings me to two things:

1. Damn, I'm funny.
2. Holy cow, I am also quite offensive. Which I mean only in the most non-PC way possible. I'm less concerned with who I pissed off than with how many more readers (read: those who will give me book deals!) I may have alienated.

Now, I know what you're thinking:
"Wonderful. She's gone soft on us. I'm outta here."

Again this brings me to two things:
1. Um, yeah, I guess maybe I have softened slightly. (In more ways than one, but we won't get into that.) But come on, I'm still me.
2. Don't run away! (!!!)

My plan with this blog is to be just as hilarious but without the possibility of class action suits. Is it possible, you ask? I'm not so sure, friends. I'm not sure. The truth is that I'm just not that risque anymore because, well, my life is not really all that risque. But it's still going to make you laugh your ass off. Sad? Perhaps. True? Definitely.

But I promise that I will make every attempt to make our dreams come true. Or at least mine. And I'll never, ever resort to typing my punch lines IN CAPITAL LETTERS.

And when I do get a book deal, I'll thank all of you on the acknowledgment page(s). Yup. Even you.


  1. I know I will laugh my ass off - you do that to me

  2. I know I will laugh my ass off - you do that to me